I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
