i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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