Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
