take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
