ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize