Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
