Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
