I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
