Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
