its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
