okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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