Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
