If i come over, it means nothing
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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