is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
