She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize