also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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