i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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