I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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