he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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