yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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