Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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