when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
