just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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