WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
