did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
