remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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