Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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