he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We need to get me chipped asap
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
