We named our party play list daddy issues
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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