You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize