we made out on top of his cat.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
We had sex on a dog bed..
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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