I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
