Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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