omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
