Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
