i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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