I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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