my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i think we sleep fucked last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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