Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
