Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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