My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
