Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
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