And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
