??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My vagina is officially offended.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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