Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
