it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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