I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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