I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
