Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
if only i could text you this smell
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
