I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
