why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
