guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
