How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize