he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
