Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
