They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize