i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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