It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
